Can an ex become a friend? I’ve heard so many different opinions on this. Some people tell me no way, and others have shown me that it can work.
My ex and I have been broken up for a bit, and lets just say the break-up wasn’t pretty (atleast thats how I felt, then again I was the one being dumped). No he didn’t dump me via text or phone call, he talked to me like a human being, then again he did it two days before my birthday. In any case, I was so mad at him and told him we would never be friends. You know what they say “never say never”….
Fast forward a few weeks, and we begin talking but ultimately it’s just too much. Then forward some more we try again, we text, call, and even hang out. You know when you meet someone and they are just an amazing person….thats my ex. As much as my feelings were hurt, I still wanted him in my life (oh yes, im gay, as if you didn’t already know). Rather suffer a little by suppressing my feelings, then not have him in my life at all. I tell myself, I want him to be happy and thrive in life…if I’m not that person he wants next to him as this happens, I can atleast be on the sidelines cheering him on.I’ve felt in the short time since we began this “friendship” it has worked pretty well.I won’t lie it hurts me a bit when he talks about a date he has gone on, but I listen and give advice because thats what friends are for. My friends have told me that I need to move on, and completely cut that cord, but does cutting the cord outweigh me losing someone I find special.
To be fair to him, he made it perfectly clear that he never wanted me back. He hasn’t dragged me along, I’ve happily walked along with him. Our “friendship” is definitely a work in progress, but sometimes I see those moments where it just works, where I can see that a friendship is possible and beneficial. Then I have those other moments, where I think of what could of been. Where I feel like we aren’t being fully comfortable being ourselves, in case you might hurt the other person’s feelings.
All I know, is the love I have for this individual. Loving someone is not easy for me by any means, and I feel anyone you love you should hold on to. My friends freak when I say I love him, but love shouldn’t have to go hand in hand with boyfriend or girlfriend exclusively. You can love other people too. Maybe I’m just a fool holding onto something that doesn’t exist. Maybe I’m working on one of my best friendships Ill have for the rest of my life. That’s the funny and truly irritating thing about love, you just don’t know if it’s playing you for a fool or leading you down a glorious path.
I don’t know what’s in store for our “friendship” but I’m wiling to go along for the journey for as long as I’m allowed. Sometimes, you just have to travel all the way down the path to truly know that it’s a dead end or a continuous path. Living with regret is something I don’t want to know. A random quote i heard about love “I’d rather experience love for two minutes and be devastated when it ends, than never experiencing that moment of bliss, for however long it last.”
Life from A to Z 