I recently had a conversation with a friend about our dating life or lack of. There’s so many people who seem to always be in a new relationship, and I can’t even get one date. Now Im not saying jumping into a relationship right after one has ended is the best idea, that’s a whole different topic, but why are some people so lucky?
I’m definitely not the greatest catch out there, but I’d like to think I have something that would attract a potential suitor. I’ve only really had one real relationship and that definitely didn’t end in the best manner. It was the first time that I allowed my guard down, and I ended up with a broken heart. I’ve always been pretty guarded with myself, so letting someone finally in that ended up proving why having my guard up was necessary at all times, left me a bit of a mess. Since the end of that amazing (this is called sarcasm folks) relationship, I’ve gone on two different dates with no success. Not that I was ever the life of the party, except when a bit tipsy, but I just felt like I wasn’t myself. Basically, I kind of gave up. It’s been a drought in the dating life, and as much as I say that I want to find someone I’ve done absolutely nothing about it. It really irks me when people complain about something but do absolutely nothing about it, so why was I part of this group now?
Recently I heard this line somewhere on tv I believe, that simply said something about equating love with hurt. Eureka! The reason why I didn’t do anything about it was because my view on a relationship is that it could lead to love which would then lead to hurt. This folks is what the world labels emotional baggage. I was already labeling failure and hurt to a relationship that didn’t exist. This blog is about reality, so I’m not saying that now I’m going to jump out there and think its all beautiful and the next person isn’t going to break my heart again. Sadly it will most likely occur again, and once again I might be blindsided by it but “we can’t open ourselves up to love without opening up ourselves to pain”. That’s just life, we can’t sit on the sidelines just because we are scared to get hurt (sport analogies….is this what straight guys do all day?). Pain and love just go hand in hand unfortunately. What is worse, getting hurt or missing out on the opportunity to find love?
I’ve decided to try this whole dating thing again. Going to sign up on a site and see what happens. I might go as far as saying yes to any date offer, just to get me out of the slump, well to be honest might be more of the desperation speaking. I can’t let one bad relationship dictate my life. If you are like myself and aren’t putting yourself out there, either because of past hurt or just because you are scared, don’t let yourself keep you off the field (did it again!). Every experience is beneficial even if its bit unclear at the time. We should welcome bad dates, we all need those stories, at one point we may find what we need and deserve.
I know they’ll be people who read this and say “you don’t need someone to be happy or make your life complete” which is true, but I want a relationship. Not to be happy, but to be happier. I love having someone who you can be completely honest with, having someone to keep you warm at night, someone with who there is no pressure to be anything else than your true self, someone who makes you a better person not because they want you to change but because being with them makes you want to be better.