Those of you in a relationship, I freaking hate you. Not because you have a special someone but because you don’t have to deal with the a**holes and weirdos out in the world anymore. I now understand why two people that shouldn’t be together refuse to dump each other, they know what’s out there in the dating world and it’s a beast.
I’ve touched on this before and I probably said something about “don’t give up and be happy with oneself blah blah blah”. Let’s just face it, most of us want someone. There’s a few who really are happy just being alone and having sex with a different person every night (is it just me or does that sound exhausting? no thanks), but that’s not me. I just want to have someone that I can cuddle with at night, talk about my day as I cook, and someone I can count on to be there for me. I honestly don’t think that’s too much to ask for. Yet from the look of my experience online it seems to not exist.
After being stranded on the ocean that is the online site I was on, I finally connected with this guy (we shall call him Nemo). After a few days of back and forth we exchanged phone numbers. Nemo seemed like a catch; we had fluid conversations, hadn’t brought up sex, and seemed like a nice enough guy. Then slowly but surely our communications began to become more and more sparse. I don’t like when someone seem needy and keep texting you after you haven’t responded, but now I get it. Nemo hadn’t responded and I wanted to send another text, you know just in case he didn’t get my last hundred texts (I didn’t really send a hundred, more like fifty), yet I withheld on the hundred-and-one text and chalked it up to a loss. It’s rare for me to connect with someone so I haven’t experienced this too much but I’ve read countless stories of this happening. Why? Don’t drag someone along, and flirt back if you have no intentions. Just be honest and say you aren’t feeling it, sorry!
Now let’s be honest here, this is a site of honesty, they are times when you just want sex. We’ve all been there, luckily for us gays we have a plethora of apps and sites to solve this problem. Yet this too has now become a delicate dance, that is more exhausting than the sex itself. Most sites have the basic information that you need to decide if this is someone you can have sex with, yet it seems to not help in easing the process. Guys start asking for more pictures, and more information. You either want to have sex with me or you don’t, cut the crap and get to business (this makes me sound like a slut I know). By the time you find someone, you are exhausted.
My biggest pet peeve on these sites is when people don’t read your profile. They see someone mildly attractive, and they just send a message with sexual content (I’m assuming when they see my picture and message me they are drunk). My profile specifically says under “looking for” that I want dates and friends, no where on there do I mention one night stands, three-ways, toe-sucking, or orgies. Yet over eighty percent of my messages come down to sexual activities. Either they don’t read my profile or just don’t care. I mean i find these messages entertaining, but at times it just makes the whole attempting to online date seem negative and a waste of time.
I’ve gone on a couple of dates (if they are even considered that) from people I’ve met online, which makes me depressed. The amount of time and energy spent online, for very small returns. All one can do is keep going, and hope that the special someone is right around the next foot-fetish person.