For those who have been following me for a while have read a bit about my ex. For those who are barely stumbling upon my blog, “hello and welcome”, I’ll give you a little review. My ex was my first real relationship, and the first person I ever told “I love you” to. Things ended a bit messy when I got dumped because my ex was in love with someone else. After some time of not talking we got into the habit of talking and hanging out sometimes. We go through spaces of not talking for a while then my ex will randomly text me. We even did the whole “FB” thing, which I would have to say for the most part we handled pretty well.
I hadn’t seen or spoken to my ex for over a month, but I got a text a couple days ago. I wouldn’t say I had forgotten about my ex because I still think about him quite often but receiving a text just physicalized his existence. I have been in this state of happiness lately, and with it I let go of a lot of negative feelings I had towards him. But just because those negative feelings are gone doesn’t mean I am ready to embrace a friendship with him. What holds me back is that part of me still, or thinks, loves him. It’s been nine months since we ended our relationship, and for some reason I can’t shake that feeling.
I know I should just let him completely go but just don’t know how to tell him. I don’t just want to ignore his messages because I don’t want to be that rude guy and mostly because I can’t contain myself from responding. As much as I want him in my life I don’t know if I can handle him popping up from time to time. I want to know he is okay, but at the same time, every time he pops back in my heart flutters a little.
I just texted him to see if he can meet up and talk. I just wanted to hear from you about what I should do. Should I even meet him? Should I go and declare my feelings and tell him to leave me alone forever? I just don’t know, but I feel saying and doing nothing won’t get me anywhere.