With every failed relationship comes heartbreak and sadness. Once the sadness starts to subside you start to look back at the relationship and you start to learn things about yourself that you may of been unaware of during the relationship. From heartbreak comes a learning experience that will help you grow and now can carry that into a new relationship. One of the things I myself have been guilty of, and many others I’ve noticed around me, is giving someone so much freedom because you are afraid to lose them.
A relationship should be a partnership, at its pinnacle moments it should be in harmony with both individuals contributing fifty percent. Yet it is perfectly normal that at times someone will be carrying a little more of the weight of the relationship due to circumstances presented to a specific individual. The problem arises when one person continuously carries a larger percentage, and over times their portion grows and grows. They willingly carry the weight of the relationship because they love their partner and don’t want to let them go. They figure if they complain or try and give some of the portion back to the other person it will mean the end to their relationship.
They allow the other individual to get away with more bad behavior as to not lose them. I’ve heard of people allowing an open relationship so they wouldn’t completely lose their partner, even if they didn’t believe in non-monagomy. They’d rather share their partner than completely lose them. Some people will deal with their partner abusing drugs and alcohol, even if it turns their loved ones into monsters. They’d rather have this monster than not have any part of their loved one.
We know this isn’t a healthy relationship but we are so in love that we allow ourselves to suffer. Part of us doesn’t recognize that we do this because we don’t value our own worth. We allow ourselves to be in this cheapened love because in that moments that’s what we want or deserve. We need to learn that even though we love someone it doesn’t mean we need to be in a relationship with them. You should be in a relationship that makes your loved one want to be a better person.