I recently deleted my online dating accounts. It has been the same cycle of people just wanting sex or people who can’t carry a conversation. I have come to the realization that I am not missing anything by not being on these sites.
My initial reasoning for making these accounts is because I am horrible at interacting with people in person, making a good first impression is quite difficult for me. Somehow being online makes it easier for me to be confident and outgoing. Maybe I have a fear of rejection, and being rejected in person is quite a bit more brutal than someone just not responding to your message online. I am also quite shy, I would never go up to a stranger when I am out and about. Being online comes with a freedom to be yourself, because you are basically describing yourself on your profile so people know who they are dealing with when they start a conversation.
But honestly I think the biggest reason I had these online accounts was because I wanted to find the right person as soon as possible. The online dating world cast a huge web with so many more potential matches than you just walking around in your daily life. With my last relationship I was able to imagine my future: the house, the wedding, and maybe children. So when that ended and I was fully back together I wanted to find someone else that I could imagine those things with again.
Now that I have been single for ten months, I have come to the realization that I am okay with being alone. Yes I do miss cuddling, and having someone to discuss my day with in bed. Yet, I have gone without a relationship for ten months now and I’m at a much happier place than I’ve ever been in my life. It seems with time I am growing and coming into my own skin, being alone forces you to deal with yourself.
I still want that relationship that’ll allow me to imagine a future together with that person, but I can’t rush this into happening. Hopefully the right person is out there for me, and somehow they will come into my life. The universe always finds a way. For the time being I am happy being alone and growing. By the time the universe brings love back to my life, I’ll be much better prepared to handle it.