Be forewarn this post has not been edited for making sense, so if it’s a confusing read….welcome to my zombie mindset.
Do you ever just get in this zone where you are zoned-out? You are living life but you are just doing the motions. Sometimes you wake up from the haze and don’t even really know how you got to where you are. Lately I’ve been getting stuck in this zone. It’s never intentional, it just sort of creeps in and takes control.
It kind of steals your energy. Today I got dressed to go shopping, but i ended up going back into bed dressed up. I’ve turned down opportunities to go out just for the fact that I have no desire to do anything. Is it possible to be depressed and happy at the same time?
My life is going pretty great. I have a job that I love. I have friends that I love. I am looking to finally move out of my parent’s house. I’m making progress in the gym. Yet even with all these things being aligned I’ve just sort of felt….empty lately.
My twenty-fifth birthday is coming up in a couple weeks, and I have no desire what so ever to do anything for it. This year has probably been the most life changing I’ve lived so far and recently I have been looking back on it in preparation for a future blog post. Think this probing into my year has sort of caused this hazed. Not only is my birthday coming up but also it’s been almost a year since my break-up, so much in my life has fallen into place but the thing that started a shift (my break-up) in me has not.
I think I’ve been so focused on making things happen, that now that a lot of these things have happened I am left in a weird space. Things that I have not completely settled but kind of tip toed around are left in this space. My reaction is just to go numb to not deal with them since I’ve been trying to keep busy to not have to finally deal with these issues. Sigh.
The truth is I am happy. I need to focus on the positive things in my life and let them lift me out of this zombie zone. Maybe I just need to let my birthday pass since it’s so tangled up with sad memories from my breakup. Hopefully with it passing, my mind can focus on what I do have and what is still to come. Just have to remember to stay smiling because I have so much to be grateful for including those of you who are reading this.
Thank you for reading this. If you are struggling with something just remember you always have something to be grateful for, let that embrace you and fill you up until the storm passes.