Secret To Happiness: Part 1- Want Vs Need


Being happy doesn’t happen overnight, it’s a process. If being happy was easy everyone would be, but I’ve learned it takes a lot of changes in ones life to reach that level of happiness. One of the things I have recently come to understand is the difference between Want and Need. So much of our sadness or anger comes from not getting something we think we Need. A lot of times we just assume we Need things to be happy, and when we don’t get them we become upset. What we Need to realize is there is very little we actually Need, and a lot of things we just Want.

We Need fundamentals; water, food, shelter, and oxygen. That’s really the only things we really Need. Without these things you wouldn’t be alive. With out these things there is no possibility for you to be happy in your life. You also Need personal love. You Need to realize that you have everything within you that you Need to be happy. You don’t Need anyone else to love you, even though that is a nice feeling, ultimately you can be happy with your own self-love.

Sadly we confuse a lot of Wants with Needs. You don’t need someone to be happy. After a break-up many times you feel like you Need them back or you will never be happy. Really you just Want them back so you don’t have to feel the pain you are in now. The sooner you realize this the easier it’ll be to let them go and move on.  Having a partner can attribute to an incresase in happiness but you can find happiness without them. You Need to realize you don’t Need a partner, you just Want one. If you are one of the lucky ones, you will find this Want and increase your happiness. If you don’t fill this Want then that is okay, it shouldn’t hinder you from exploring other avenues to increase your happiness. As human we seem to have this desire to find love outside of ourselves, we are so obsessed it easily becomes a Need in our minds. Once you are able to find your own love within yourself, you slowly realize that any other possible love is just a Want.

We tend to have this sense of entitlement to many things in our lives, we just assume it’s meant for us thus we Need it. If we are able to look at each thing in our life at the moment that is causing us grief objectively, we would realize we don’t need most of these things. You don’t Need to drive a one-hundred-thousand dollar car, you just might Want it. You don’t Need to be a size two, you just might Want it. You don’t Need your family’s approval, you just Want it. Learn to seperate the Want and the Need, and trust me your eyes will open to how much you already have. Most of the things we need to be happy our already in our lives, we just need to realize it.   

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11 thoughts on “Secret To Happiness: Part 1- Want Vs Need

  1. interesting, i work really hard to teach my kindergarten this very difference and we have incredible discussions about it. finally, it becomes clear to some, even at their young age. i love this ‘aha’ moment for them and so good they can learn it young.

  2. Buddha said the root of all human suffering is desire. How true is it that whenever I am at my worst sadness or disappointment or hurting… It is because I didn’t get something I wanted, be it a failed relationship, a bad job interview, the death of a loved one, everytime I can think of in my life, where I was in great emotional pain, it is because I didnt get something I wanted….

    • I’d had to agree with Buddha. We create our own suffering thus we hinder our path to happiness. We shouldn’t blame anyone but ourselves if we can’t find happiness, we just need to change our perspective on the things that are bringing us sadness. Thanks for reading.

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