Creating Our Own Distractions

One of the challenges in life is realizing and becoming who we ought to be. Some are lucky and achieve this early on in life, but many are left to face the world while also trying to figure out who they are. We all must travel our own paths with ups and downs until we can achieve that moment of self-realization, but maybe some of us slow ourselves down. We have all heard the expression We are our own worst enemy and that saying can be quite often true. Some of us are guilty of distracting ourselves from becoming the person we ought to be. 

Whether on purpose or subconsciously, we can be guilty of sabotaging our own path. We may chose to dive into a relationship that we know will provide no real outlet or growth, but instead bring unnecessary drama and sadness. We may put ourselves into a situation that we know will not lead to anything but disaster. We create these distractions or obstacles to hinder the path to finding our true self. It sounds nice to find yourself but for many it can be a nerve wrecking experience. We don’t know who we will be until we get there, and who knows if we will like who we are. We would rather create this distraction and not have to worry about what’s to come.

Life can be cruel enough by its own nature, do not add any more cruelty by your own doing. Take experiences, whether good or bad, as they come forth by the force of the universe. The experiences brought on by nature’s accord are meant to teach and allow for personal growth on the path to personal discovery. Most experiences we bring upon ourselves are mere distractions that not only hinder growth but can really damage one’s self worth. You deserve to find who you ought to be.

Current Event: Phil Robertson’s Gay Remarks

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I normally don’t talk about current events but I thought I’d give it a go. Let me know if you like this kind of thing on my blog.

Recently one of the stars of Duck Dynasty made some comments, in a GQ magazine interview, describing his views on homosexuals. He basically grouped homosexuals with terrorist and drunks; also stating homosexuals wouldn’t “inherit the Kingdom of God”. Just today the network, A&E, that airs the program suspended Phil Robertson indefinitely from the show due to his remarks.

You would think being a gay man I would be outraged or offended by his remarks, but if anything I’m more offended by the TV network that has pulled Phil out of his own reality show. My issue with this is, he was just stating his beliefs in a magazine article (as far as I know he has never mentioned any of this on his show) yet he is being punished for his beliefs. Now I for sure don’t agree with any of his comments, but that doesn’t mean I would wish harm against him.

Being gay I know that a a huge portion of people see my life as negative or lesser than their lives. I have no problem with people expressing their beliefs, as long as those beliefs are stated maturely and without hostility. If someone wants to say I’m as good as a terrorist, then that’s their opinion, I know I am not. Other people’s opinions don’t diminish who I am. I am who I am, someone trying to say something different doesn’t affect me at all. I have a fundamental issue with Phil hunting duck for sport or recreation, but I doubt he would be offended by me stating that. So why should I be offended by his remarks on something he may have no life experience with?

There is bigger battles out there, people who actually physically attack homosexuals or wish us ill will. Phil just stated his opinion, while maybe not the most eloquent manner, he didn’t wish homosexuals anything ill-mannered. If people are taking Phil’s commentray to heart and suddenly start hating homosexuals, then let’s be honest that person was never really on the equality train, no loss there. Plus, last I checked Phil wasn’t God, so I’ll take my chances being gay, how I was born.  

 

Today is the Right Day

Today is the Right Day

Don’t be worried about yesterday or tomorrow, there’s nothing you can do about it. Instead focus on what you can do today.

We spend so much energy worrying about mistakes in our past, or being afraid of what’s to come. If we learned to reroute that energy into our present day we would conquer each day.

Are You the Fish Climbing the Tree?

Are You the Fish Climbing the Tree?

We have all been in the same exact situation as illustrated in the picture, okay well minus us being a fish or being in a class with an elephant. But we’ve all been in a situation where no matter how hard we try we just can’t suceed at the task in hand. When we don’t suceed we automatically call ourselves stupid or get down on ourselves. It doesn’t help when someone else seems to thrive at it, making it look easy.

One of the easiest examples is school. We are graded in specific subjects; math, science, reading, and physcial education among other things. If you are good at all those things then that’s great, but most of us tend to have things we just can’t seem to conquer. In scholl I could solve an arduous math problem, but if you asked me to throw a fifty yard pass….it’s more likely that it would snow in Texas….in july. School does a great job at instilling in us this idea that our talents can be graded and compared to others.

This mentally is then carried into adulthood. We like to compare how much money we make, the size of our homes, the kind of car we drive, even what jobs we have. The sad thing is if you live your life comparing yourself to someone else you will never be fully happy.

I’ve learned as I’ve grown to not compare myself to anyone else. We all have things we thrive in but that also means we have things in which we just can’t suceed in. Those things I’m not good at shouldn’t diminish the things I am good at.

Just remeber the fish may not be able to climb that tree, but it can outswim us all in the ocean. You just need to find your ocean.

Holiday Season: The Gift of Stress

That time of year is upon us once again, the holiday season. While I enjoy the chilly weather and the beautiful decorations around Houston, this time of year has always been a stressful one for me. A variety of things contribute to my stress this time of year; increase in traffic, stores always packed, selecting a “thoughtful” gift, and my most dreaded holiday related activity….family gatherings. Now I know what you are thinking “Adrian….stressed over social gatherings…never, he is such a social butterfly”, well believe it. Yes, this socially awkward individual is even more stressed and awkward with family gatherings. 

This may just be me, but I tend to believe I’m the black sheep of the family. Why have I crowned myself with this title? Maybe it’s because I’m the only gay individual in family, I tend to not have any similar interest to discuss with family members, or just because I’m normally an awkward social butterfly and being with family that sometimes feel like strangers just magnifies my awkwardness. I tend to arrive to family gatherings late (yes, i’m one of those always late for the party people) and also end up leaving early on in the night. Just the idea of spending long hours with my family starts stressing me out.

I am not sure if it’s just me growing older, or being more confident in myself as a person but I finally reached the point where I realized the only problem here is myself. My family has never been rude or anything other than welcoming, yet I tend to act as if I could catch some disease from them. I had somehow crowned myself as a black sheep because I was uncomfortable in my own skin, not because my family awarded me that title. Who knows, I may be the black sheep to some individuals in my family but that shouldn’t make me uncomfortable or stressed out.

Everyone is different, and in one aspect or another we may all feel like a little bit of a black sheep, but that’s what makes a family work…diversity. We should all feel confident in ourselves and just be who we are. Real family will love you unconditionally, and those who don’t are missing out on getting to know an amazing person. Who knows maybe you being yourself will make some of those individuals with preconceived notions on certain things more understanding. GIve yourself the gift of being you, that’s the only way you can fully enjoy the company of others.

I hope you all experience a positive and enlightening holiday season. Remember to take a break within the madness and take in how lucky you are to be you. 

Good Advice Comes From Within

Good Advice Comes From Within

I confess…I’m guilty. I don’t consider my posts so much as advice giving but rather inner-discoveries that I like to share. Yet, sometimes the things I write about to help others, I fail to do myself. Part of us might want to sabotage our growth and prosperity.

How many times in life do we tell ourselves that this isn’t a good idea, or this situation isn’t right for us. It can happen almost daily, yet they are times when we don’t listen to our inner-self even when we know it’s good advice. Do we not trust our own judgement? Do we not find ourselves worthy enough to listen to?

If we know the right thing to do, we should do it. It might be hard and scary but at the end of the day, most of the advice you give yourself is what will lead to your true happiness. Nobody will give you better advice than yourself. You are worthy, so value yourself and listen to your own good advice.