Owning Who You Are

I wish people recognized who they are, the good and the bad. Most people when asked to describe themselves say: nice, funny, caring, adventurous…..all positive things. Yet what people don’t say is they can be a**holes, mean, insensitive, snobby, confusing, fragile, or stubborn. Why are people afraid to use these words to describe themselves? Admitting to yourself or to others the “negative” aspects of your personality does not diminish the positive side. All these things make up who you are at this moment in time. It does not determine who you will be tomorrow; one shouldn’t be afraid to embrace and recognize these “negative” aspects of your personality.

I am not saying be proud to be a jerk but if you have the tendency to be, then recognize it. The only way to better yourself and grow (if that is what you want) is to be fully aware of who you are. If you just acknowledge being a great person and ignore the possibility of not so great characteristics within yourself, then you will always be who you are in this moment. Just because you think you are a great person doesn’t mean you actually are. 

I would say I am decent person, but I am aware of various “negative” sides to being me, Adrian. Everyday I wake up and try to be the best person I can be in this moment, sometimes I succeed and other days…well I can be a jerk. The things is I don’t beat myself down when I do not have a great day because I am aware that I have this in myself, but I am working on improving it. The hard part is for the people around you. Some friends know all of you,  they can handle and accept your less than fabulous moments. While others may not know or accept the less glamorous side. 

Owning who you are is hard; you have to live with who you are everyday. The sooner you recognize who you are the faster you can try and become a better person, not just for yourself but for those around you. 

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Small Expectations

This may sound weird but I think of the most negative things one can have in life is expectations. Growing up and being the “smart one” so many people would tell me they expected me to do great things. When people expect things from you there’s this automatic fear of not reaching those expectations and being a failure. Not reaching the potential all these people expect you to reach, or maybe even expectations you put upon yourself. 

All those expectations that are fed to you can start manipulating decisions you make. You may even start believing these expectations need to come true, even if it’s not what you really want. Sometimes people get so swept up in expectations that they decide to try and reach those expectations. The problem is, you can’t fake your way down a path you don’t believe in. No matter how strong the desire to please these people with expectations for you (family, teachers, friends, strangers), forcing yourself to do something you don’t really want only leads to emptiness. 

Sometimes we put expectations on ourselves. The thing is life is chaos and not everything you desire can come to fruition. When you don’t reach those expectations; you assume you are a failure, you didn’t try hard enough, or you just aren’t worth achieving it. No matter how much work you put into it, you aren’t meant to reach those expectations. By no means should this diminish who you are, it’s just one of those things you need to shake off and move on from. You should admire the work and effort you put into it, and not dwell on not reaching the “expectation”. 

I’ve seen, and I’ve been one of those myself, so many people work and stress themselves beyond the breaking point for these so called expectations. At the end of the day you need do to what feels good to you, and not expect anything from it. If you pick a path it shouldn’t be to reach the end, it should be to experience that journey. If you start something off already expecting what the end will be, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. All you need to believe in is your potential, and that could take you to unexpected places. 

 

Keeping Positive 2014 Memories

Keeping Positive 2014 Memories

When I saw this on Instagram, I instantly knew I wanted to do it.

A lot of times as our year starts wrapping up we think about all the hardships we’ve faced, so it’s quite easy to forget the great moments we experienced throughout a year. We especially forget those moments that are minuscule in the over all memory, but in that moment brought us great pleasure and happiness.

I would encourage all of you working on grasping more of life’s positivity to make your own jar. Write down those moments that made you smile as soon as you can. As the year goes on you’ll be able to look at the growing abundance of happiness in that jar. Come New Years Eve 2015, open it up and start the new year with so much good mojo.

Imprinted Words

Imprinted Words

We’ve always heard words carry power, but imagine if the words you spoke became visible on your skin. The words you spoke to others would become visible for everyone to see. Would you be proud of your skin, or would you cover yourself up to hide the words written on them?

Now imagine not only the words you verbalize would appear on your skin, but the things you say to yourself. Not just your thoughts about other people, but what you say about yourself. Stupid. Worthless. Fat. Ugly.

When you speak and think negativty, you become engulfed in a negative world. Learn to appreciate others, and love yourself. If you want your skin to be beautiful, then make your mind as beautiful as you can make it.

Creating Our Own Distractions

One of the challenges in life is realizing and becoming who we ought to be. Some are lucky and achieve this early on in life, but many are left to face the world while also trying to figure out who they are. We all must travel our own paths with ups and downs until we can achieve that moment of self-realization, but maybe some of us slow ourselves down. We have all heard the expression We are our own worst enemy and that saying can be quite often true. Some of us are guilty of distracting ourselves from becoming the person we ought to be. 

Whether on purpose or subconsciously, we can be guilty of sabotaging our own path. We may chose to dive into a relationship that we know will provide no real outlet or growth, but instead bring unnecessary drama and sadness. We may put ourselves into a situation that we know will not lead to anything but disaster. We create these distractions or obstacles to hinder the path to finding our true self. It sounds nice to find yourself but for many it can be a nerve wrecking experience. We don’t know who we will be until we get there, and who knows if we will like who we are. We would rather create this distraction and not have to worry about what’s to come.

Life can be cruel enough by its own nature, do not add any more cruelty by your own doing. Take experiences, whether good or bad, as they come forth by the force of the universe. The experiences brought on by nature’s accord are meant to teach and allow for personal growth on the path to personal discovery. Most experiences we bring upon ourselves are mere distractions that not only hinder growth but can really damage one’s self worth. You deserve to find who you ought to be.

Secret To Happiness: Part 1- Want Vs Need

Being happy doesn’t happen overnight, it’s a process. If being happy was easy everyone would be, but I’ve learned it takes a lot of changes in ones life to reach that level of happiness. One of the things I have recently come to understand is the difference between Want and Need. So much of our sadness or anger comes from not getting something we think we Need. A lot of times we just assume we Need things to be happy, and when we don’t get them we become upset. What we Need to realize is there is very little we actually Need, and a lot of things we just Want.

We Need fundamentals; water, food, shelter, and oxygen. That’s really the only things we really Need. Without these things you wouldn’t be alive. With out these things there is no possibility for you to be happy in your life. You also Need personal love. You Need to realize that you have everything within you that you Need to be happy. You don’t Need anyone else to love you, even though that is a nice feeling, ultimately you can be happy with your own self-love.

Sadly we confuse a lot of Wants with Needs. You don’t need someone to be happy. After a break-up many times you feel like you Need them back or you will never be happy. Really you just Want them back so you don’t have to feel the pain you are in now. The sooner you realize this the easier it’ll be to let them go and move on.  Having a partner can attribute to an incresase in happiness but you can find happiness without them. You Need to realize you don’t Need a partner, you just Want one. If you are one of the lucky ones, you will find this Want and increase your happiness. If you don’t fill this Want then that is okay, it shouldn’t hinder you from exploring other avenues to increase your happiness. As human we seem to have this desire to find love outside of ourselves, we are so obsessed it easily becomes a Need in our minds. Once you are able to find your own love within yourself, you slowly realize that any other possible love is just a Want.

We tend to have this sense of entitlement to many things in our lives, we just assume it’s meant for us thus we Need it. If we are able to look at each thing in our life at the moment that is causing us grief objectively, we would realize we don’t need most of these things. You don’t Need to drive a one-hundred-thousand dollar car, you just might Want it. You don’t Need to be a size two, you just might Want it. You don’t Need your family’s approval, you just Want it. Learn to seperate the Want and the Need, and trust me your eyes will open to how much you already have. Most of the things we need to be happy our already in our lives, we just need to realize it.