I don’t know if this is just me, but sometimes I look at people and think, this person really has their life in order. I suddenly started wondering if people in my life think I have my stuff together. I would say for the most part I have my outer self pretty in control, but I don’t think I have my sh*t together by any means. How many of these people I see, that seemingly have everything under control, are actually just as messy internally as I am. Maybe they have the “fake it until you make it” mentally.
Confession: I don’t have my sh*t together…and that’s okay.
I have come to realize that not having myself completely together doesn’t mean i am immature, lazy, or a failure. I just haven’t found that equilibrium. Who knows if we actually ever find that moment. Maybe it’s something that just comes naturally. It seems various pieces can be in place but there always seems to be something that is just missing.
I have a secure job, home, friendships, and family but there is just things I feel I am missing. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for what I have in my life but I just want to have that moment where I feel complete. Maybe I put too much pressure on the universe to give me all these pieces. Maybe I am just too impatient. I just want to wake up one morning and be full. Not have anything I want more from life, the moment i am in has everything that I want and need.