Life can be hard enough on its own, but when you start blaming yourself for things it only seems that much darker. So many of us have the tendency when things go wrong we blame ourselves. Maybe we didn’t try hard enough. Maybe we aren’t good enough. Maybe we aren’t special enough. You can’t control when life is going to give you a break but you do have control over your own mind. Sometimes things aren’t going to work out but that doesn’t mean it was because of you.
We blame ourselves for a variety of things. Not getting a job, having a relationship not work out, a child making bad decisions, not getting that A on an exam…on and on the list can go. Not everything in life is going to work out the way you want it to, and you aren’t to blame. Maybe we blame ourselves because of our own insecurities. We don’t have faith in our decisions and actions. The moment something doesn’t work out we blame ourselves because we doubted ourselves all along to begin with. We knew we would fail; we just didn’t work hard enough, prepare enough, or be worth enough for this thing to work out.
The thing is if you want something, and I mean really want something, you will do everything you can. When it doesn’t work out that doesn’t mean you didn’t do everything in your power, it just means it’s not meant to be. Don’t blame or doubt yourself. Maybe it wasn’t the moment. Maybe it just isn’t meant to be. Learn to celebrate even when you don’t succeed. Success shouldn’t be defined by crossing the finish line, but by acknowledging the effort you put in.
I read an e-book today called “Spiritual Marketing” by Joe Vitale which outlined five steps you can take to create wealth for yourself. While I wasn’t a fan of the author, his writing did bring up a lot of good points. One of the most fascinating things to me is his reasoning for why we don’t get what we want. His answer is the “energy you put out is the result you get”.
So many times we wish for a better paying job, or a better relationship but what we are really doing is complaining about our current situation. We wish for a better job because we are falling behind in our bills or our boss is a jerk. We aren’t putting out positive vibes to receive what we want, instead we are throwing out negativity and in turn we stay in that negative situation. The energy we are sending out is blocking any positive change from coming into our lives.
When we change our energy to a positive one, we learn that we are deserving of something better. You need a new job because your talent and skill set can handle it. You deserve to make more money, because you have things to offer. You deserve a better relationship because you have a lot of love to give. Focus on the positive reasons why you deserve what you want.
Sometimes we don’t get what we want because we can’t make up our minds. This is one of the things we are most guilty of but are the most oblivious about. How many times do we complain about something not happening, yet we changed our mind several times about what we really want. The author used an example of ordering soup: if you ordered a chicken noodle soup, but then changed your mind and tell the waiter you want vegetable soup, and then the veggie soup arrives but you aren’t happy because now you actually want the chicken noodle soup…who’s fault is it? Yours.
The universe can’t give you what you want until you are certain of what you actually want. Some things take time to occur, so changing your mindset will never allow things to fall into place so they can occur to you. If you want a relationship but can’t decide what you want in the other person, then that person will never appear. The universe won’t take your order until you know what you want.
You need to know what you want and what you will do with it when it arrives. Know that you are worth those dreams you dream of. Those things are achievable and can come into your life if you allow them to. If you are prepared the universe will grant you these things.