Life can be hard enough on its own, but when you start blaming yourself for things it only seems that much darker. So many of us have the tendency when things go wrong we blame ourselves. Maybe we didn’t try hard enough. Maybe we aren’t good enough. Maybe we aren’t special enough. You can’t control when life is going to give you a break but you do have control over your own mind. Sometimes things aren’t going to work out but that doesn’t mean it was because of you.
We blame ourselves for a variety of things. Not getting a job, having a relationship not work out, a child making bad decisions, not getting that A on an exam…on and on the list can go. Not everything in life is going to work out the way you want it to, and you aren’t to blame. Maybe we blame ourselves because of our own insecurities. We don’t have faith in our decisions and actions. The moment something doesn’t work out we blame ourselves because we doubted ourselves all along to begin with. We knew we would fail; we just didn’t work hard enough, prepare enough, or be worth enough for this thing to work out.
The thing is if you want something, and I mean really want something, you will do everything you can. When it doesn’t work out that doesn’t mean you didn’t do everything in your power, it just means it’s not meant to be. Don’t blame or doubt yourself. Maybe it wasn’t the moment. Maybe it just isn’t meant to be. Learn to celebrate even when you don’t succeed. Success shouldn’t be defined by crossing the finish line, but by acknowledging the effort you put in.
We have all been in the same exact situation as illustrated in the picture, okay well minus us being a fish or being in a class with an elephant. But we’ve all been in a situation where no matter how hard we try we just can’t suceed at the task in hand. When we don’t suceed we automatically call ourselves stupid or get down on ourselves. It doesn’t help when someone else seems to thrive at it, making it look easy.
One of the easiest examples is school. We are graded in specific subjects; math, science, reading, and physcial education among other things. If you are good at all those things then that’s great, but most of us tend to have things we just can’t seem to conquer. In scholl I could solve an arduous math problem, but if you asked me to throw a fifty yard pass….it’s more likely that it would snow in Texas….in july. School does a great job at instilling in us this idea that our talents can be graded and compared to others.
This mentally is then carried into adulthood. We like to compare how much money we make, the size of our homes, the kind of car we drive, even what jobs we have. The sad thing is if you live your life comparing yourself to someone else you will never be fully happy.
I’ve learned as I’ve grown to not compare myself to anyone else. We all have things we thrive in but that also means we have things in which we just can’t suceed in. Those things I’m not good at shouldn’t diminish the things I am good at.
Just remeber the fish may not be able to climb that tree, but it can outswim us all in the ocean. You just need to find your ocean.