Small Expectations

This may sound weird but I think of the most negative things one can have in life is expectations. Growing up and being the “smart one” so many people would tell me they expected me to do great things. When people expect things from you there’s this automatic fear of not reaching those expectations and being a failure. Not reaching the potential all these people expect you to reach, or maybe even expectations you put upon yourself. 

All those expectations that are fed to you can start manipulating decisions you make. You may even start believing these expectations need to come true, even if it’s not what you really want. Sometimes people get so swept up in expectations that they decide to try and reach those expectations. The problem is, you can’t fake your way down a path you don’t believe in. No matter how strong the desire to please these people with expectations for you (family, teachers, friends, strangers), forcing yourself to do something you don’t really want only leads to emptiness. 

Sometimes we put expectations on ourselves. The thing is life is chaos and not everything you desire can come to fruition. When you don’t reach those expectations; you assume you are a failure, you didn’t try hard enough, or you just aren’t worth achieving it. No matter how much work you put into it, you aren’t meant to reach those expectations. By no means should this diminish who you are, it’s just one of those things you need to shake off and move on from. You should admire the work and effort you put into it, and not dwell on not reaching the “expectation”. 

I’ve seen, and I’ve been one of those myself, so many people work and stress themselves beyond the breaking point for these so called expectations. At the end of the day you need do to what feels good to you, and not expect anything from it. If you pick a path it shouldn’t be to reach the end, it should be to experience that journey. If you start something off already expecting what the end will be, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. All you need to believe in is your potential, and that could take you to unexpected places. 

 

Imprinted Words

We’ve always heard words carry power, but imagine if the words you spoke became visible on your skin. The words you spoke to others would become visible for everyone to see. Would you be proud of your skin, or would you cover yourself up to hide the words written on them?

Now imagine not only the words you verbalize would appear on your skin, but the things you say to yourself. Not just your thoughts about other people, but what you say about yourself. Stupid. Worthless. Fat. Ugly.

When you speak and think negativty, you become engulfed in a negative world. Learn to appreciate others, and love yourself. If you want your skin to be beautiful, then make your mind as beautiful as you can make it.

Good Advice Comes From Within

I confess…I’m guilty. I don’t consider my posts so much as advice giving but rather inner-discoveries that I like to share. Yet, sometimes the things I write about to help others, I fail to do myself. Part of us might want to sabotage our growth and prosperity.

How many times in life do we tell ourselves that this isn’t a good idea, or this situation isn’t right for us. It can happen almost daily, yet they are times when we don’t listen to our inner-self even when we know it’s good advice. Do we not trust our own judgement? Do we not find ourselves worthy enough to listen to?

If we know the right thing to do, we should do it. It might be hard and scary but at the end of the day, most of the advice you give yourself is what will lead to your true happiness. Nobody will give you better advice than yourself. You are worthy, so value yourself and listen to your own good advice.

Twenty Five at Twenty Five

Well, tomorrow I will be turning twenty-five. For as long as I can remember I’d always love my birthdays and always had plans to celebrate it, but this year I truly have no desire to celebrate it. Maybe it’s left over trauma from my birthday last year, or maybe I’m just over making a big deal out of a day that really is no different from all the other days. In any case, a few weeks back a blogger I follow on Tumblr, The Secret Diary of Jake, posted a list of things he has achieved and stuff he is proud of and I decided I’d do the same. Twenty-five things as I turn twenty-five.

1. One year ago I had my heart broken, and fell into the deepest depression/sadness I’ve ever experienced, but now I am the happiest I’ve ever been.

2. I’ve learned being single doesn’t mean being alone. Learn to appreciate the love you receive from people in your life, even if they aren’t your partner.

3. I am who I am, and I’m happy with it.

4. I don’t need to impress anyone, those who matter will appreciate me for the way I am.

5. I may not have full control of my life, but as long as I put out positivity the universe will happily guide me on the right path.

6. I may not fit perfectly into my family, but they care about me either way.

7. I am not right all the time, and that’s okay.

8. I am happy with my physcial self. I am pretty darn handsome, and I need to tell myself more often.

9. I don’t need to compare myself to others. We are all different, thus no one is better than someone else.

10. I’ve managed to find people in my life that accept and love me. I love my friends!

11. I’ve learned that being negative only leads to more negativity.

12. I’ve learned to not take myself to serious. You can make mistakes, it’ll be okay.

13. You finally gave avocados a chance, and now I love them.

14. I’ve learned to forgive is the only way to move forward. I won’t hold a grudge against anyone. No one is worth me staying in a negative mindset.

15. I’ve learned there is people out there who also feel out of place. Maybe we all feel that way. Doesn’t make us weird, just human.

16. I’ve started a “career” job. I kind of love it.

17. I’ve come out to people in my family, and it was okay.

18. I’ve learned that I do have value and are contributing to others happiness.

19. I’ve learned being happy is so much better than staying in the same bleek mood.

20. I’ve learned I can’t sing but that shouldn’t stop me from singing at the top of my lungs.

21. I shouldn’t beat myself down when things go wrong, it happens. Tomorrow is an opportunity for success.

22. I can love someone and not be with them. Love is a beautiful thing, we shouldn’t try to squash it.

23. I look good when I smile!

24. There is people who will listen and encourage you to be better.

25. I am amazing.   

My Biggest Fear…

I’ve always had this fear of never finding someone to share my life with, and up until yesterday I thought that was my biggest fear. But yesterday while I was watching an online stream by Jordan Bach (check out his Twitter @JordanBach, he posts some great life-affirming quotes) he said something about one of his past fears…someone seeing him. Not just physically seeing him but actually being able to see who he was. At that moment it clicked in me,  I’ve dealt with this for as long as I can remember, I was just never able to put it together. My greatest fear was that someone would see through all my bullsh*t and be able to see the real me.

I’ve dealt with insecurity as to who I was and if who I was, was valuable. I always told myself that I was different, especially in my family, and that no one would really understand me. As I grew older I sort of put on this persona to the world; this sarcastic, confident, and goofy guy. Everyone likes a funny person, so that’s what I became. It’s not that I needed to be loved or accepted but I just didn’t want people to see the real me and find out I’m worthless. When you are the funny person in the group people come to you to smile, not to get into deep meaningful conversations.

The longer people would stick around me, the more they realized they really didn’t know much about me. I wasn’t one to share my feelings or my thoughts to people in my life, I kept that all within me. I myself couldn’t handle my own thoughts at times, much less someone else. I wanted to be visible but at the same time I was trying to keep the real me invisible. I was one person trying to do two things that continously clashed with each other.

It wasn’t until my last relationship that I noticed the negative effect this was having in my life. You can’t possibly try to share your life with someone else, if you don’t allow the other person to see the real you. Things would happen in my life and instead of going to my partner to talk about them, I would keep them within myself. When my partner would ask if something was off (obviously you can’t hide your true state of mind sometimes), I would react negatively towards him. You can’t keep things in all the time because you reach a point where something random can set you off for no reason.

If I try to keep the real me invisible because I don’t like a part of me then those around me won’t get to see the positive things I have to offer. Fear holds us back from fully being able to understand the limitless possibilities that are in our lives. We shouldn’t let fear stop us from being the individuals we are really meant to be. Relinquish the fear and let the endless possibilities flow into your daily life. Some of the greatest things in life come from breaking free of fear and experiencing life for what it can be, without limitations.